Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Dog Days are Over

Can you believe that there are seriously still people in this world who deem it appropriate to allow their animals to defecate outside without even considering for a moment that they should clean it up?  This has to be one of the most egregious and disgusting character flaws a person can have.  I mean seriously, what is your deal?

If you know me personally, then you probably also know that I rarely miss an opportunity to swiftly and directly confront anyone I observe disregarding the cardinal law of dog ownership (and maybe a few other reasons too).  I think nothing displeases a crap bandit more than the loss of their anonymity; and coincidentally, nothing pleases me more than calling them out on the spot.  These people aspire to be just like the phantoms who place fliers on your car while you're inside shopping at Old Navy and ten minutes later when you return you see that the entire parking lot has been plastered with hot pink nightclub invitations.  Come on people, have you never experienced the lingering poop stench that follows you inside your house after an evening walk outside?  At first you get a whiff of the pungent unpleasantness and hope it goes away, but then it returns and you do the obligatory check of the bottom of the first shoe (check), then the bottom of the second..... AARGGGGH!  I mean who on Earth enjoys that and wishes it on others? 

More than anything in the world, a crap bandit crystallizes the fact that neanderthals still roam amongst us, clinging desperately to their instincts to fling poo at one another and laugh while they count their fingers scratch their heads. 

Crap bandits, you're on notice!  We're watching for you.